Where the hell have I been? The short answer is making myself legitimate in the eyes of the Church. Since last we *spoke*- I left "Sexy Street" for a *head* of staff position at a church. THEN I got married and then began my current pastorate. So I'm no a threat to the "Peace, Unity and Purity of the Church" by no longer living in sin, having sex before marriage and selling vibrators and cockrings to pay the bills.
(as an aside, I couldn't go back to "Sexy Street" if I wanted to. A couple of months after their "top salesperson" took another job...the store closed due to poor sales numbers).
So now I'm back to committee meetings, broken furnaces, complaints that the AA group is leaving their cigarettes on the ground...In my previous position my greatest sources of conflict were whether someone was allergic to latex, will my boyfriend/husband be intimidated by the size of this dildo? and does this one piece crotchless fishnet body suit come in a larger size?
It has actually been a lovely experience with this congregation. I've had to pay Martin Hegestaad (God, he'll die if this pops in Google) overtime to keep it together. But given that Mrs. and Mrs. Pain in My Ass just returned from Florida...it can't possibly stay this way forever.